What if ecstasy is not an accident, but a practice?
One night over dinner, a friend described a motorcycle accident. In the aftermath, as he drifted in and out of consciousness, he felt egoless and in ecstatic connection with everything. He shared that he had never before or since experienced that level of ecstasy and still longs to return to that state.
Many of us imagine ecstasy as a destination. A mountaintop. A grand arrival. A fleeting moment of transcendence.
But what if the Steps of Ecstasy begin when we listen to where our deepest love asks us to step next and then return there again and again with devotion?
Perhaps we’ve known these moments all along. Moments when we are so thoroughly immersed in life that time disappears, and we remember what it feels like to be fully alive.
The Steps of Ecstasy are not a climb toward some distant peak. A near-death experience is not required. Presence is. Love is. Immersion in joy is.
We recognize this state in others. It’s when the dancer becomes the dance, and the musician becomes one with the music. It begins with flow—the moment we are so present that the boundaries between ourselves and what we love soften. The most liberating truth may be this: we can cultivate these experiences.
The Spiral Home
Life often tells us that growth means moving farther away from who we once were. We climb a spiral staircase toward becoming more accomplished, more polished, more impressive—perhaps more self-helped.
And there is beauty in growth. There is wisdom in developing our gifts, refining our craft, and expanding our understanding.
But there is another spiral that calls us home.
Not a spiral of climbing away from ourselves, but a spiral of returning to the loves that first awakened our curiosity, wonder, and aliveness.
Perhaps all the different forms love has taken over the years point to a single defining word—a golden thread woven through your life.
For me, that word is creativity. It has shown up in many ways: art, writing, fashion, and photography. Even when I worked as a fashion designer, I wrote articles, created trend reports, and captured moments through the lens of my camera. The expression changes. The love remains.
My father says that as a boy, he stared out the classroom window, longing to be outside. And outside, for him, meant nature. Today, his love continues through birdwatching, fishing, and sharing knowledge with others.
Different expressions. The same love.
What is your word—your golden thread?
What made time disappear before anyone told you whether it was useful, profitable, or impressive?
Perhaps the clues have been there all along.
Devotion and Delight
In a world filled with distractions, it’s easy to move away from what enlivens us. We can spend our days consuming rather than creating, observing rather than participating, scrolling rather than stepping.
The invitation is simple: return to what you have loved. Return to what has loved you back.
The Steps of Ecstasy are rarely giant leaps. They’re small, intentional movements toward what delights us, one moment of devotion at a time.
We’re not being asked to abandon our lives. We’re invited to bring more of ourselves into them. Each return to what we love becomes a pathway home.
Devotion says: I show up.
Delight says: I am fully here.
Devotion is the step. Delight is the feeling in the step. Together, they become the dance.
The Steps of Ecstasy are not extraordinary moments reserved for a fortunate few. They are created when we live in full alignment with what we love.
So I ask you: Where does your deepest love ask you to step next?
Perhaps the greatest privilege of a lifetime is discovering what you love and spending the rest of your life loving it more deeply.
And letting it love you back.
~ ✦ ~
P.S. Speaking of lifelong loves, I invite you to read my tribute to the extraordinary men who have walked beside me in this life—the men I’ve loved and who’ve loved me back. SINS OF THE FATHER is a story of love, healing, and the powerful ways we choose who we become.